When did we get so mean? Short tempers are evident across society – from restaurants to schools to the treatment of our first responders, and certainly evident across social media. Let’s resolve to do better as we enjoy our busy holiday season and approach the new year.

Resolutions are important; they help us to be intentional about the things we want to accomplish or focus on moving forward. Human behavior is complex and influenced by a variety of factors, both individual and societal. There isn't a single, straightforward answer to why people can be mean to each other, as it varies from person to person and situation to situation. Setting a goal to do better and be less “mean” (or better yet – be more kind) is something we should all embrace.

I tend to receive quite a bit of feedback from this column; most of it is positive (for which I am grateful) and some of it…oddly mean-spirited.

Consider this one: “I wish I had a job like yours where I was never right and still got paid”.

That person might have considered being a meteorologist (they’re rarely right and still get paid) or a major league baseball player (where the very best experience failure seven out of ten times). Some individuals may act mean due to personal insecurities, low self-esteem, or unresolved psychological issues. Projecting their own issues onto others can be a way for them to cope with their own internal struggles.

Or this email: “You are a burden on our community, society, and economy”.

This person might do well to know that I pay my taxes and try not to burden society. I do understand that there could be a lack of empathy here; some people may have difficulty understanding or relating to the feelings of others. This lack of empathy can lead to insensitive or hurtful actions.

The mean emails are not limited to my job or my societal burden. Someone took the time to share that they “have a few words to share with you: treason is a very serious offense and can be punishable by death. Repent now before it is too late”.

I’m not a professional, but they seem to be taking out some personal stress and frustration at a stranger who writes a weekly newspaper column. Individuals facing high levels of stress or frustration may be more prone to expressing their emotions in negative ways, and we should focus on surrounding them with kindness – I think they probably need it the most.

Some folks take the time to email to let me know that I “have the mental capacity of a peanut” or that I am “a cruel joke”. One even took the time to express that “one look at you and I can tell you know nothing about the real world…did they pull the silver spoon out of your mouth before taking your picture?”

I’m guessing these folks lack decorum because they may not have developed healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress, disappointment, or conflict. Maybe it’s social media, where platforms can create virtual spaces where people are exposed primarily to information and opinions that align with their existing beliefs. This reinforcement of existing biases can make it challenging for individuals to understand perspectives different from their own, contributing to societal division and general meanness.

I stand by the idea that we should all try to be more civil and neighborly (especially when we disagree). Or maybe not, because as one person shared, “Chris Romer is always wrong.”

Chris Romer is president & CEO of Vail Valley Partnership, the regional chamber of commerce. Learn more at VailValleyPartnership.com